How badly do you want it?

I hear many people say how much they want something.  How much they want to lose weight, how much they want to get rid of an illness, how much they wish they had a better relationship with someone, how much they wish they had more time.  Do you hear the same thing from people?  But they never seem to get what they say they want so badly.

Why do you think this is?  I propose, ever so gently, that they must not want it that much if they don’t have it.  You may think this is harsh, but I have found that if people really do want something, and want it badly enough they will move heaven and earth to make it happen.  You may say – “well not everything is in our control.”  And I would say “That may be so, but if someone really wants something – there is always a way to get it.” Is the person working to initiate change?  It has been said that in order to make something change – changes have to be made.  It is also been said that impossible is just an opinion.

When I was sick many years ago, I was very ill and I had a choice, I could live or die and I chose to live and do all the necessary things health wise to get better. I stopped eating sugar, dairy, wheat, and started eating more vegetables and fruits and took supplements, as the allopathic solution wasn’t working for me.  I had a black and white choice that I had to make.  To me a black and white choice is an “easier” choice to make.  I either get this or I get that.

But many people aren’t really “sick” per se – they just aren’t optimally healthy.  They just have annoying little health issues – everyone has them.  Itching here, a rash there, some extra weight, a persistent cough, etc.  Or their relationship isn’t as good as it could be, or they don’t really have the job that they really want. So we get stuck. We get stuck because we don’t have the motivation to make a change.  Things aren’t bad enough to give us a black/white choice.  Or sometimes we don’t see how good things can be, all we see is the fear of the unknown, the fear of what will happen when we start to make changes. Then, it is often just easier to stay just where we are than to initiate any movement towards what we want.  Or many people feel as though they have to give up something they do want in order to get something better.  This may sound strange – but we hold on to the darndest things just to prevent change.

I recently had a few of these annoying little issues.  And although I knew exactly what I should do to get rid of them, I wasn’t doing them.  So I asked myself “how badly do I want to fix them?”  I would say I haven’t wanted to fix them very much, as I haven’t done anything about it really. Guess I didn’t want it badly enough because I just kept eating food that I knew I shouldn’t eat. (Albeit, healthier choices than most people make, they still weren’t optimal for me.)  I couldn’t stop myself – it was like something was inside me that made me do it. 

Often emotional issues cause these destructive actions, as well as organisms (parasites, viruses, etc.) that might be involved as well, and getting in touch with these issues takes diligent work to delve into and pay attention to and then doing some actual work about getting through to the other side so they are GONE! I am sure I had some emotional issues there, that I was trying to bury with food – but also, for me, I think it was overcoming the rebellious “teenager in me” – she was being wild and rebellious and didn’t want to listen to me!

So one day, I started saying that to myself.  How bad do I want it?  Over and over, again and again, until I was totally annoyed with myself! This lasted for a couple of weeks.  Finally I realized that I really did want these annoying things to go away – it was like I psyched myself up to do this.  I did make some changes and although I haven’t noticed a huge improvement right away, it caused movement.  Movement in the right direction!

Movement that has opened up many other changes; I can now see that things are moving in the direction that I want. And now a month later, I have started having more benefits than just my initial complaints getting better –bonus!

How badly do you want to get healthy? How badly do you want to change the relationships in your life?  How badly do you want to lose weight? How badly do you want to stop all the drama? How badly do you want all the annoying little health issues you have “just go away?”  How badly do you want that new job?

What little changes can you start to do to make those changes happen? Have you updated your resume?  Have you made a date with your spouse and kept it? Have you spent time talking with your child regarding issues you want to work on?  What little steps are you taking?  All these little steps add up and start moving us in the direction that we need to go. Otherwise we will just stay stuck – and how much fun is that really?

Once you make a small change – you can then make another change and before you know it – you will be at your goal.  There are so many steps you can take to start change or movement – clean out your purse, or your bathroom drawer – or start to use a different glass to drink your water, or purchase a bag of organic carrots and put them in small zipper plastic bag in your purse to nibble on throughout the day. Sit down with your spouse and tell them from your heart how you really feel; take 10 minutes with your boss and tell him your career goals and see if he can help. It is amazing and fun to watch changes happen when you start making small changes.  Do you really want to change?  How badly do you want it?