It is a new year. Are you where you want to be? Are you as healthy as you want to be? Are you in your dream job? In the relationship you want? Are you living where you want to be- or would you rather be living in Florida?

Many people wait until they have a “mid-life” crisis before they figure out that they haven’t got what they want out of life. Of course this can cause many problems, as these people are running around not really getting what they want – which often can cause them to be angry inside – or do stupid actions to themselves or others that they later regret.

You only have one life – when you are you going to get what you want out of this life? What exactly are you waiting for? It is your life! You are the only one who is really stopping you from achieving what you want.

There are many tools and techniques on the marketplace to help you “get what you want”. There are video/audio tapes, books, seminars and classes all designed to help people achieve their goals. Many of these principles often apply to both business goals and personal goals. These tools mostly can be categorized into the following categories –

1. Defining your goals – what do you really want?
2. Outlines or steps/tasks/tools to achieve your goals
3. Time management – how you spend your time to achieve your goals
4. Overcoming objectives, positive affirmations or preventing negative people, thoughts or things from distracting your from your goals
5. Gratitude – for what you have received so far

I won’t take the time to reiterate what you can easily get from others that have published a multitude of information. What I do want to point out is that this information can be very helpful for some – but you don’t have to purchase anything to get what you really want.

What do you have to do to get everything you want? Two words – let go.

Let go of your fears, your preconceived notions, your anger, your guilt, your pain, the clutter in your life, things that are holding you back, the people/relationships that are not supporting you – or that may be hurting or taking advantage of you, the job that turned out to not be all it seemed, your assumptions, everything and anything that is not serving you or helping you to get what you want.

You will never be able to pick up anything new that you want, if your hands and life are already full. Especially if they are full of things you don’t want. Now if they are full of the things you want, then this article won’t help you very much. But many people are carrying around “baggage” of emotions, or negative environments or people that are holding them back from getting what they really want.

When you let go of things you don’t need (this includes possessions - tangible items, or it may include intangible items such as feelings, negative thoughts), you will be able to see things in a different way – which opens up opportunities that you may not even have seen. This may not only get you what you want, but it may even change what you think you wanted in the first place.

There is a place and time for everything – there is a time to be fearful and a time to feel guilty. There is a time to work and a time to play. There is time to have pity parties, and then there is a time to move on. If you are constantly carrying these burdening things around with you – you will never be able to accept the other positive things that are coming your way. It is physically impossible. There is only so much space in this world, and if your “space” is already filled up with stuff – then how can you possible carry the new stuff that you want? How can you carry around more happiness, if your mind and body are filled with fear?

Another way to look at this is by looking at your closet. Many people have so many clothes crammed into their closets – there is no room for anything new. This is often where spring-cleaning becomes helpful. When you clean out your closet, you make room to bring in new things. When you clean out the clutter in your home, you find things you didn’t know or forget that you had. This can be insightful in and of itself!

Ok – so you say, this sounds great – but how do I actually do this? Well first, let me tell you that it is not the easiest thing in the world. If it were, everybody would be doing it – right? To get started, I would find one thing you want to let go of. It may be something simple – like cleaning out a kitchen closet. Let go of all the food that is expired, and all the items you purchased with good intentions of making – but have just never got around to that recipe. Give it all to the food bank or toss it. Get the energy of things sitting around doing nothing - out of your space. You will be surprised at how clearing this will be emotionally releasing for you, while allowing you to bring other good things into your life at the same time – usually things you want, and not the old stuff that has been sitting around collecting dust. It may also allow you to bring in new healthy foods for example, into your life for you and your family. Or allow you to try that new recipe on the Food Network that you have been anxious to try with ingredients that you found out you already had in the back of your closet. You may be surprised what will happen in your life, just from cleaning out a closet.

Next, try something a little more challenging. Try getting in touch with a feeling you want to release. You have to get in touch with it, embrace it – or you will never be able to let it go. For example, you know when there is something that has gone moldy in your fridge? You can smell it, but you can’t find which item has gone bad? You can’t toss it out, until you find it. It is the same for our emotions. We can’t let go of the emotions we don’t want until we can actually get a handle on them, so we know what actions we no longer want for ourselves. For me, it was fear. I lived in fear as I was raised. Fear that I wasn’t good enough, fear that I could never be anything, and fear for many other reasons. I am sure much of it was passed down to me from my parents, which I am sure was from their parents and so on. Many actions such as anger and frustration are often caused because of underlying fear. One day I realized that I had to get in touch with my fear so it wouldn’t eat me alive! I had to embrace it and look at it closely so that I could then let go of it. I spoke with my family and friends, watched how people acted around me during certain actions, and tried my best to look inside myself, to get to know myself better – watching each action I did and how and why I did it. Since doing that, it has brought me so many wonderful gifts that I wanted – like my son. This doesn’t mean I don’t have fear anymore, it just means that it comes out when it is appropriate, and it doesn’t stay in my baggage for me to constantly carry around.

This is not usually a quick process, and hardly ever happens as fast as we want – but is always something you will be glad you have done. The only way it starts, of course, is with the first action. It is written in many books that it takes 21 days for a new action to become habit. Getting rid of your fear, may take longer than that, but once you get started, there is no going back. If your bag of emotions starts to get smaller, even by a little – it makes that much more room for the things you really want.

You may need help getting in touch with your emotions. Therapists can help, so can some of the tools mentioned above such as books, and tapes. Journaling, and personal coach’s are also helpful. Flower Essences and Essential Oils are other tools that can help you release emotions effectively. Check with your health professional to find the appropriate products for your individual situation. Each person is different, and it is important that you find the right tools for what will work best for you. The same thing doesn’t work for everyone, as everyone is unique.

By letting go, I don’t mean to go out and quit your job today and stop calling all your friends, even though that may not be a bad idea for some people. What I mean is, if you want to quit your job, then start looking for another one that you want, and use the tools above, like setting some goals or parameters for that dream job. And let go of the fact that you don’t have to be in the same industry, or in the same position, or even in the same city – some of the best jobs are often some of the most unique or creative positions around. But if you don’t let go of your preconceived notions or the blinded parameters that you may currently have – you will never open yourself up to new possibilities.

Or if you have a friend that you realize does not have the same moral standards as you. You can write them a letter that your life is taking a different direction, and that you feel you need to move on from this present relationship and let go. You will be happy you did, as new people will now come into your life, bringing you other new people to meet and new activities that fit into what you really want.

It is a new year. I hope these ideas inspire you to let go of the things you no longer, helping you to make room for the things you really want.
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