Many people find the holidays to be a very challenging time. Typically this is for two reasons – the first reason is often family issues. The second reason is attempting to stay on a healthy regimen. Here are some ideas we hope will spark some creativity to help you have a wonderful holiday while overcoming these two challenging objectives.

Family Issues
Family issues most commonly stem from one of two topics. The first topic being because you will have to be around people or family members you don’t care for, or the second topic maybe because you are missing family members that you care deeply about that are not longer here.

Difficult People
Having a difficult family member is a hard issue to address. If you have this issue, remember you are not alone. Many, if not most people have this same issue. It seems there is always at least one agitator in every family. There are a multitude of tribulations that can be causing this problem, but usually it has to do with this persons underlying fear, guilt, or denial of any problem at all. First off, know that you will never be able to change this person’s behavior. That is something they will have to choose to do – if they ever accept that challenge. Next, these people often are trying to take other peoples positive energy, and always are trying to make other people feel bad (because they feel bad) by putting other people down “to their level”, instead of allowing people to be who and what they are. Additionally, the older the person is, the more engrained their behavior can be which can make it more difficult for you to be around. However, remember that no one deserves to have anyone else dump grief onto him or her. If you see this negative energy coming your way – stand firm and let these harmful arrows go around you. Dodging these arrows can be challenging, but letting them stick and hurt you – is not productive or healthy for anyone.

Instead of getting angry, scared or feeling guilty by what they may say – remember, they are just dumping on you – you get to make the choice to hold onto those feelings or not and you DO have that power to choose. One trick I have learned is when these people speak to you, and start to push your buttons, is to take several slow deep breaths, while they are saying what they need to get off their chest. Then when replying back at this person – imagine you are speaking from the inside of your heart. Take another deep breath and speak to them directly from your heart, without concern about what you will be saying – you will be amazed at the powerful, yet loving words that come out of your mouth. I am always shocked by how this works so effectively for me.

Lost Love Ones
If you have lost someone close to you, it is very hard to feel this pain, but remember that death and loss are a part of living. Many people find that great loss can often help them to experience even greater joy out of the simple pleasures of life. A nice thing to do for yourself is to try to find an activity that will help you with your feelings for today and the future about this special person. An example of this is to make yourself a scrapbook with pictures, and/or letters, write the stories you remember, and how they made you feel. This can be a family activity, giving everyone an opportunity to share stories that others may not have heard. You can then share this book with others or enjoy it by yourself. Another idea, might be to have a sharing time, where people can bring items that remind them of this person – showing videos, sharing important objects and making this persons favorite foods is a great way to feed all your emotional senses and help you see what impact this one person had on so many people. Instead of letting pain and sorrow separate you from others that also cared about this person, use these tools to help people come together and to have a very personal and intimate holiday that people will always remember and cherish for years to come.

Healthy Tips for the Holidays
As if emotional family issues aren’t bad enough – then there is food to make things even more complicated over the holidays. We all have emotional issues with food: eating too much, not eating enough, or eating the wrong food for our bodies. Avoiding the yummy but “bad for you” sweets and fatty foods, and eating enough of the good items is very challenging – especially because there are often emotional memories attached to these foods and smells that can take us to a happier place or time.

Many people have tried to tell themselves not to eat anything when they go – then they eat one thing, then they end up having several things and have guilt set in the next day in addition to the bad health symptoms, like diarrhea, nausea, headache or just feeling bad.

The biggest emotional issue involved with food is guilt. Often we feel guilty because of another reason, we can’t afford the gift we want to give someone, someone purchased us a nicer gift then we got them, or Aunt Edna makes us feel guilty because we don’t spend enough time with her, etc. These feelings don’t begin at the party, they were started along time ago in our childhood, and unfortunately too many of us are familiar with these feelings of guilt, then when we are around friends and family we are reminded of things we would rather like to forget, and eating becomes very pacifying, and feeling guilt afterwards is the feeling we unfortunately feel.

Regardless of the issue, we end up eating and eating and trying to bury that pain which is then transferred later into guilt from eating poorly. Guilt, guilt, guilt – who wants to feel that? – YUK! Beating yourself up physically with food and these terribly painful symptoms the next day, then emotionally after the fact doesn’t help anyone progress forward – but instead keeps us trapped in the constant merry go round of ugliness.

Here are some ideas to help you make it through easier this year:

1) Eat before you go – have a nice meal, with healthy foods that you enjoy. Then when you go to the party, take a nice organic, sulfate free wine that you like, or a nice bubbly apple cider. Have a glass of that, with 1 or 2 small bites of dessert to fill your sweet tooth. You will be fuller, and more likely to spend time in conversation with others, instead of filling your face.

2) Find a dish that is healthy and easy to prepare, that you like, and that you will eat. Or purchase something already prepared at a health food store. This way you will have something you like to eat when you go, and can augment with smaller portions of the foods that are less nutritious.

3) Call ahead of time to the restaurant or to the host to let them know of any special dietary restrictions. Many restaurants, caterers, and even cruise ships are aware of this as it is becoming more common. This way you will be served healthy items without a hassle while you are enjoying yourself.

4) Pick your poison – if you are going to “cheat” – try to do it in a healthy way. For example, if you are off all sugar, dairy, wheat, and vinegar – eat just one of these “poisons”. Find what you are craving, the sweet, the creaminess of dairy, or the flakiness of wheat. Choose the item that will most satisfy your craving and have one nice portion of that. You will not feel quite so bad the next day as you would if you ate them all.

5) Another option is to take products before, during or after you go to help the “bad” foods leave your body quickly. Some products that can help with this are digestive enzymes, lecithin, psyllium hulls, or chickweed. Check with your herbalist or health professional to find the best products for your body.

6) Exercise more often the week before an event. This will help to flush your body of toxins, and when you eat the “bad” foods, they won’t affect you quite so much.

7) Drink a lot of water. Drinking a lot of quality water before the event can help to keep you full, and help to flush toxins out as well.

8) Take a ginger bath when you get home. This can help to flush toxins from the un-nutritious foods and beverages. Use 2 tablespoons of ginger per bath. It will help you sleep and you will feel better the next day.

9) Getting through family issues is best done when your body is supported nutritionally. Everyone knows that when someone is tired or hungry, this is when we are not usually at our best, and we can be "touchy". Support your body with proper rest, healthy organic food, and good water. You will find it is a great way to support your body best through this stressful
time.

Having a satisfying holiday can be a lot of work, because of family and food issues. But, the holidays can be about so much more. Look inside yourself, and ask yourself – what are your holiday goals, and how do the family and food issues really fit into those goals? This season will only be here once this year – make it a season to remember.
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